Welcome back to the Atlas, friends.
If you are new here, you’ve just stepped aboard The Strings of Us, a serialised sci-fi epic being funded in real-time by readers like you. You can catch up on previous chapters in the archive here:
Today, we are leaving the sun-drenched Agora of Ancient Athens from the last ‘Raw and Unedited’ and stepping into the sterile, high-stakes political theatre of the Chrysaora’s Quorum room. The dust has barely settled from the near-disaster at the water reclamation facility, and the ship’s leadership is looking for someone to blame.
We are viewing this through the eyes of Dr Farrell, the pragmatic Head of Life Support Systems, as she watches the arrogant Dr Hedghe attempt to politically assassinate our new Chief of Security, General Lysander.
Below is a raw, unedited glimpse into this tense boardroom showdown. This will give you a real-time look at my editorial brain, showing you exactly what is working in this first draft, and where I plan to drastically change the text for the final polish.
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The Quorum Trap (Raw & Unedited)
Hedge, however, was having none of it. He seemed much more inclined to let the bomb go off.
“Sabotage, General, a fascinating conclusion. Or, perhaps, a more convenient one? My logs show a different story. They show an antiquated, stressed system and a new, foolhardy commander who, against all advice, intervened manually and caused a cascade failure. Are you sure you discovered sabotage, General? Or, are you simply creating a narrative to cover for your own reckless actions?”
Authors Note: Hedghe is meant to be a wiley and cunning operator, and this whole section feels a bit too on the nose. Rather than manouvering his opponent into a trapped position, he bluntly states his hypothesis for all to hear. In future drafts I will have to work on making his words match his personality more.
It was quite the tirade, and in a way, I could almost understand it. It seemed so improbable and convenient. And yet… if it were true, it would explain a lot. As much as I wanted the Dr’s ‘Sister’ AI to leave me alone to my job for five minutes without interruption, I had to respect that it was — in fact — one of humanity’s crowning achievements. Built by some of the best scientists in the world.
Authors Note: I love using Dr. Farrell as the chapter POV. If Lysander were the POV character, this would just feel like a defensive argument. By putting us in Farrell’s head, we get an objective, grounded view. She admits Hedghe is arrogant, but she also respects the science behind his AGI. It establishes her as a highly competent, unbiased observer, which will make her eventual alliance with Lysander feel earned rather than forced.
