Beautiful, beautiful writing. In some ways, too relatable, and where it isn't, truly fantastical in the most magical way. I'm excited to enter this world you've created!!!
Aw this makes me really happy! I had a lot of reservations about this chapter initially. Elias is definitely one of four real main characters in this story, and I knew if I made him detestable in the first chapter, it would be hard to pull it back. It is that weird thing of feeling like what he does is wrong, but also he thinks he is doing the right thing and clearly has massive reservations as well.
I hope it landed anyway. How did you feel towards him after that chapter?
He's won my heart as a POV character! I recognize that consuming desire to do whatever it takes to provide stability, and what he's spiraled into to justify to himself that he should go behind his wife's back to attain it. My takeaway is that he's going to end up somewhere where he learns to be more comfortable, confident, and emotionally secure, and that his gentleness and compassion are going to have an impact in a way/place where there otherwise might be little or none. I'm excited to see what happens and what he becomes. That's my favorite kind of story!
I am relieved that is how its landed, and you have percieved him really well. I have a very intriguing journey set out for him, and cannot wait to reveal more.
I would be curious to see what you think by the end of chapter 3. I am currently in the middle of restructuring the first act, so while nothing much will change in the actual story, I am going to be re-releasing a lot of the story, with these chapters staying live as the legacy version for people who are process curious.
I'll let you know! I'm hoping to get to it later today or tomorrow! (I've reached my allotted reading time for the morning haha) genuinely I am so stoked to read more
Oh dear, you didn't lie when you said this was making people cry. Great introduction to the character and the world. It felt very cinematic! I'm astonished by Elias' wife. I couldn't forgive him, I would crawl through the phone, slap him left and right, and drag him right back where he belongs. Stupid man 😠
I am happy you were affected by Elias's wife and her choice to forgive, even if you didn't align with her decision. That single act is one of the things I really want to explore throughout the novel. She says something specific.
"Because if you could have done it any other way, you would have... Elias, one day you might learn this."
This for me is one of the core themes of the book. I don't think it absolves Elias of his actions, and at this moment he doesn't understand it himself, but I am curious to explore the truth of that opinion that it 'could not have been any other way'.
I am sort of weirdly glad. Not to make you cry 😢 🤣 but just because that was my hope for this chapter. I really wanted to amp up the emotions and subsequently drive people to casamigos.
While I do NOt condone you trying to make people cry 😒, I have to say it is a huge credit to you that you managed it in the very first chapter. I am fairly certain that’s never happened to me before. Very well done
The phone call during the birth is the scene that earns everything around it. You can get away with a lot of setup if you land one moment like that. This one lands.
Oh I am so excited that scene worked for you. One of the things I aspire to is finding the emotion in each piece that I write. I have to genuinely feel it as the writer before I am happy to share it. This was definitely one of those moments.
I will be so intrigued to see whether the next chapter gives you that same feeling of a moment landing.
I am always open to feedback as well, this serial is a work in progress, so do keep me posted on your progress and any thoughts that come from it.
That was heartbreaking. I thought about what I would do in that situation. I know Elias is doing what he thinks is selfless, but I don't know that I could make that same decision. I don't know that my wife would forgive me so quickly either.
It is a brutal situation isn't it. I thought long and hard about it myself because one thing I didn't want to do was to make Elias immediately a bad person in the eyes of the audience.
As for the forgiveness. I am so glad you have picked up on that. It is a seed I very purposely planted, as that mindset that allowed her to be forgiving. To say ‘if you could have done it any differently, you would have’. That is a theme that I hope to really unpack throughout the book. There are characters that exemplify both sides of that coin and I can't wait for it to slowly reveal itself.
HOLY smokes, I am teary-eyed. You have a serious way with words, blending such emotion with a kind of wild wonderment. It's not something I see a lot, and I really love how you do it. I am in agony for Elias, and I love him already. I'm intrigued and excited, but also pretty terrified (in a good way) for what is to come. Pumped to dive into chapter 2 ⭐️
I was always curious to see if people would warm to Elias. I battled with it myself in that chapter. Could a man who literally abandons his two most precious loves, be vindicated in the eyes of the reader. I hope I can make that so. I have big plans for him as a character.
Oh wow, my first comment on it! I am so excited that you have enjoyed it so far! Yes, I am a big believer that we do not necessarily seperate whimsical ideas from meaningful stories. I am always inspired by things like Lilo & Stitch or Calvin and Hobbes. Stories that don't shy away from the profound despite their surface appearance.
I am working on chapter 2's final edit as we speak, so hopefully I will see you again soon.
Beautiful, beautiful writing. In some ways, too relatable, and where it isn't, truly fantastical in the most magical way. I'm excited to enter this world you've created!!!
Aw this makes me really happy! I had a lot of reservations about this chapter initially. Elias is definitely one of four real main characters in this story, and I knew if I made him detestable in the first chapter, it would be hard to pull it back. It is that weird thing of feeling like what he does is wrong, but also he thinks he is doing the right thing and clearly has massive reservations as well.
I hope it landed anyway. How did you feel towards him after that chapter?
He's won my heart as a POV character! I recognize that consuming desire to do whatever it takes to provide stability, and what he's spiraled into to justify to himself that he should go behind his wife's back to attain it. My takeaway is that he's going to end up somewhere where he learns to be more comfortable, confident, and emotionally secure, and that his gentleness and compassion are going to have an impact in a way/place where there otherwise might be little or none. I'm excited to see what happens and what he becomes. That's my favorite kind of story!
I am relieved that is how its landed, and you have percieved him really well. I have a very intriguing journey set out for him, and cannot wait to reveal more.
I would be curious to see what you think by the end of chapter 3. I am currently in the middle of restructuring the first act, so while nothing much will change in the actual story, I am going to be re-releasing a lot of the story, with these chapters staying live as the legacy version for people who are process curious.
I'll let you know! I'm hoping to get to it later today or tomorrow! (I've reached my allotted reading time for the morning haha) genuinely I am so stoked to read more
Oh dear, you didn't lie when you said this was making people cry. Great introduction to the character and the world. It felt very cinematic! I'm astonished by Elias' wife. I couldn't forgive him, I would crawl through the phone, slap him left and right, and drag him right back where he belongs. Stupid man 😠
I am happy you were affected by Elias's wife and her choice to forgive, even if you didn't align with her decision. That single act is one of the things I really want to explore throughout the novel. She says something specific.
"Because if you could have done it any other way, you would have... Elias, one day you might learn this."
This for me is one of the core themes of the book. I don't think it absolves Elias of his actions, and at this moment he doesn't understand it himself, but I am curious to explore the truth of that opinion that it 'could not have been any other way'.
I love when stories resolve around what characters have to learn, so I’m very excited to continue!
You made me cry real human tears, and for that I will not forgive you. Need to go finish my tequila now… 😭
I am sort of weirdly glad. Not to make you cry 😢 🤣 but just because that was my hope for this chapter. I really wanted to amp up the emotions and subsequently drive people to casamigos.
While I do NOt condone you trying to make people cry 😒, I have to say it is a huge credit to you that you managed it in the very first chapter. I am fairly certain that’s never happened to me before. Very well done
That's really lovely. I will take the slap on the wrist when it is also combined with such a kind compliment.
The phone call during the birth is the scene that earns everything around it. You can get away with a lot of setup if you land one moment like that. This one lands.
Just started reading your series...
Oh I am so excited that scene worked for you. One of the things I aspire to is finding the emotion in each piece that I write. I have to genuinely feel it as the writer before I am happy to share it. This was definitely one of those moments.
I will be so intrigued to see whether the next chapter gives you that same feeling of a moment landing.
I am always open to feedback as well, this serial is a work in progress, so do keep me posted on your progress and any thoughts that come from it.
Lots of memorable quotes in here! I really felt a lot of the stuff you wrote, as a dad and husband.
Two faves:
"We struggled, simply because we were not as necessary to the good of society, or so we were routinely told by the politicians. "
and
"We could survive because the one thing they couldn’t take was our enjoyment of the time we spent together"
Welcome to the House of Chapters Highlights #12.5!
That was heartbreaking. I thought about what I would do in that situation. I know Elias is doing what he thinks is selfless, but I don't know that I could make that same decision. I don't know that my wife would forgive me so quickly either.
It is a brutal situation isn't it. I thought long and hard about it myself because one thing I didn't want to do was to make Elias immediately a bad person in the eyes of the audience.
As for the forgiveness. I am so glad you have picked up on that. It is a seed I very purposely planted, as that mindset that allowed her to be forgiving. To say ‘if you could have done it any differently, you would have’. That is a theme that I hope to really unpack throughout the book. There are characters that exemplify both sides of that coin and I can't wait for it to slowly reveal itself.
HOLY smokes, I am teary-eyed. You have a serious way with words, blending such emotion with a kind of wild wonderment. It's not something I see a lot, and I really love how you do it. I am in agony for Elias, and I love him already. I'm intrigued and excited, but also pretty terrified (in a good way) for what is to come. Pumped to dive into chapter 2 ⭐️
I was always curious to see if people would warm to Elias. I battled with it myself in that chapter. Could a man who literally abandons his two most precious loves, be vindicated in the eyes of the reader. I hope I can make that so. I have big plans for him as a character.
Oh wow, my first comment on it! I am so excited that you have enjoyed it so far! Yes, I am a big believer that we do not necessarily seperate whimsical ideas from meaningful stories. I am always inspired by things like Lilo & Stitch or Calvin and Hobbes. Stories that don't shy away from the profound despite their surface appearance.
I am working on chapter 2's final edit as we speak, so hopefully I will see you again soon.
Thank you for such a kind message. :)